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EDITING TIP OF THE DAY: USING YOUR EYES AND EARS

31/1/2018

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Today's pro editing tip is an oldie but goodie.
READ YOUR WORK ALOUD
It sounds too simple to be useful, right? How can reading your own work aloud possibly be helpful? I admit, that's what I thought before I tried it for the first time. Reading your words aloud can help you in a few different ways.
Over time, your words become so familiar to you that as you edit, you aren't really seeing them any longer. Reading them out loud makes your brain process the words in two new, different ways. First, when you read aloud, you read slower, and you focus on rhythm and emotion. And second, you'll also hear your words as you read them. So reading aloud often lets certain types of problems jump out at you, like:

PUNCTUATION
Now, you aren't going to catch every possible punctuation error this way. But you will catch the big ones. You may have seen this example floating around on the Internet before:
Let's eat Grandma.
vs.
Let's eat, Grandma.
Now, unless you're writing about cannibals, you probably want that pause there. And that's the sort of thing that reading aloud can help you catch.

RHYTHM
Rhythm in writing is a tricky thing. You want to mix up your sentence lengths. If everything is super short, it gets repetitive and your reader's attention can drift. (If any of you have early reader books in your house, go take a look at them and you'll see what I mean.) If all your sentences are long, you can give your reader mental fatigue. Especially if they have to dissect convoluted punctuated clauses to figure out who did what! Shoot for a little variety, and your prose will pack more punch.

CONSTRUCTION
Do all your sentences start with "MC did X"? Mine do, in my early drafts. And I never noticed until I read my work aloud at a critique group.
(By the way, reading aloud at a critique group is magical. Typos that have escaped a dozen revisions will mysteriously appear in your manuscript. You won't notice them until you're standing in front of a handful of strangers, all eyes on you. Guaranteed.)

and last of all:
TONGUE-TWISTERS AND FAVORITE WORDS
Are you writing a Dr. Seuss book, but don't know it? Does Sally sell seashells by the seashore in your work? Did your alliterative device cross the line from cool to corny? You'd be surprised at how many accidental tongue twisters or over-the-top alliterations might lie hidden in your manuscript. Or you may discover that you are a little too fond of using a particular word or phrase. We all do it; it's nothing to be ashamed of. But if you can catch it yourself and fix it before you send your work out, you'll look more professional.

So go on and try it for yourself. Kick everyone out of the house if you need to. Read aloud at midnight, when everyone else is asleep. Lock yourself in the bathroom. Or throw a dramatic reading for your family or friends, if that's your style! Make yourself comfortable and give reading your work aloud a try. It works.
Good luck and happy editing!
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January 250-Word Live Critique

28/1/2018

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And we're back with our very popular LIVE CRITIQUES!

That's right. Every other Monday, we'll be posting critiques of writers' first 250 words or query letters; anonymous, of course. If you would like to have your work critiqued, then watch out for our calls for submissions on Twitter and Facebook once a month! It's a first-come, first-served arrangement.  

Anyway, here we go with the first of 2018! The format is the same as it always was. First, is the excerpt without our suggestions and then with. We love feedback, so if you want to add anything, or disagree with our thoughts, or have found this blog helpful, please leave a comment at the end. 

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To say the site of the scaffold is our regular meeting place is not entirely correct. Instead, we usually meet near the monument to those who lost their heads; the actual scaffold site is technically a little further away.

It’s an overcast Friday afternoon and my last class for the week been cancelled. No one can focus anyway, not with our first exam scheduled for Monday. I’m free for the weekend. Stuck at the Tower, but free nonetheless. Most importantly, I have forced my friend Rupert to help me uncover what could be the most explosive secret to rock the Tower walls since the Ravens stole the keys in 2012 and almost caused nationwide panic. But Rupert's late.

I glance up from my book as George, a Tower Raven, craws from beside me. He leaps down from the bench and hops away across Tower Green. I'm too busy watching George make his escape to notice the shadow looming over me. I’m trapped.

Someone is standing beside the bench, I can feel them staring at me. I glance up, then take a deep breath, and turn away; he isn't who I'm waiting for. Pity though, he has beautiful bright red hair and clear green eyes, and under normal circumstances I’d totally be intrigued.

I have three primary rules for surviving life at Her Majesty’s Palace and Fortress the Tower of London:

Rule 1. Never initiate contact with the visitors;

Rule 2. Never forget you’re always watched;
​
Rule 3. Never leave the house without being photo ready.


​

To say the site of the scaffold is our regular meeting place is not entirely correct. Instead, we usually meet – as you have used “meeting” and “meet” in the first two sentences, consider revising to avoid repetition. Perhaps “rendezvous” or “gather” or similar – near the monument to those who lost their heads; the actual scaffold site is technically a little further away. – this is certainly an intriguing opening paragraph; however, to ensure the reader is hooked from the very first line, consider rearranging slightly. Perhaps use the second sentence, which mentions the monument to those who lost the heads, as the first line to make a reader want to find out more about this. Or, perhaps, show the character in the opening line/paragraph, how they are currently feeling, what they are anticipating, etc., to allow for that immediate grounding and connection.

It’s an overcast Friday afternoon – this is telling the reader it’s overcast. Could you show them? Maybe: “Steel grey clouds blanket the sky” or similar - and my last class for the week has been cancelled. – is the cancelling of this class pertinent to the story? If so, perhaps give the reason; if not, perhaps delete or simply mention that it’s common for classes to be cancelled – No one can focus anyway, not with our first exam scheduled for Monday. I’m free for the weekend. – is this unusual for the character? Can you include something that shows the reader what they usually do at the weekends or maybe that being free is pretty normal? Let them begin to connect to the character and their life – Stuck at the Tower, but free nonetheless. Most importantly, I have forced my friend Rupert to help me uncover what could be the most explosive secret to rock the Tower walls since the Ravens stole the keys in 2012 and almost caused nationwide panic. But Rupert's late. – how does the opening paragraph link into the second? Is the character at the scaffold site now, waiting? Is she suggesting her weekend of being free has already started because of the cancelled class? Is the Tower also where the scaffold site is? Can we see more of where the character is – the Tower or the scaffold; are there views from her elevated position; is she in a garden? Consider blending in a little more of her location, how it makes her feel, how uncovering this secret is making her feel and her physical reaction to this? Is she staring at the same words in her book over and over, only focused on what the coming days could bring, her stomach roiling at just the thought of this big secret? So far, even though it’s only the first paragraphs, it’s difficult to connect to the protagonist as we don’t get to hear their voice or see any of their important traits.

I glance up from my book as George, a Tower Raven, craws from – delete “from” here as it’s superfluous – beside me. He leaps down from the bench and hops away across Tower Green – can you blend in a description of Tower Green? Is it an extensive lawn stretching out ahead? Does the character like it here? Do they like George? Show us a little more of their reaction and emotion so the reader can connect –. I'm too busy watching George make his escape to notice the shadow looming over me. – If she's too busy to notice, how does she know the shadow's there? Might she instead say: “As George makes his escape, a shadow looms over me.” Or similar – I’m trapped. – why does the character feel trapped by simply a shadow? Do they have a particular fear of people or an instinctive paranoia borne of past events?

Someone is standing – revise to “stands” – beside the bench, I can feel them – consider deleting “I can feel them” and replace with something more urgent. Perhaps “My paranoia burns; someone’s eyes are boring into me” or similar – staring at me. I glance up, – “I glance up” was used at the opening of the previous paragraph. Consider revising to avoid repetition. – then – “Then” is often telling. Suggest cutting whenever possible – take a deep breath, and turn away; he isn't who I'm waiting for. Pity though, he has beautiful bright red hair and clear green eyes, and under normal circumstances I’d totally be intrigued. – Suggest changing the order of this sentence and making it active. “Pity though, under normal circumstance I'd totally be intrigued with his beautiful bright red hair and clear green eyes.” Or similar.   

I have three primary rules for surviving life at Her Majesty’s Palace and Fortress the Tower of London:

Rule 1. Never initiate contact with the visitors; – replace the semi-colon with periods –

Rule 2. Never forget you’re always watched;

Rule 3. Never leave the house without being photo ready.

It’s an intriguing opening, particularly with the mention of this huge secret and the setting of the Tower of London. However; at present the scene does run the risk of feeling a little disjointed. A reader might question exactly where the story is going because they know little about who the main character is, what it is they want and why they want it? What's stopping them from getting what they want? What will happen if the character doesn't get what they want? Of course, it’s impossible to answer all of these questions in the opening 250 words, but by including more of the protagonist’s personality, trying to blend in their one main flaw or strength that sets the internal conflict in motion (perhaps this secret could be their ticket to fame or escape that they so desperately desire), by showing how the surroundings make them feel and react (the ravens put them at ease), how their responsibilities or the mundane make them feel trapped or maybe they thrive on routine, and so on, will allow the reader to see the character and start to build their all important profile of them. 
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An Edit Tip a Day Keeps Rejections at Bay!

23/1/2018

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WHO and THAT
We see these two words get mixed up a lot. Quite simply: 

Who is for people, That is for things. (Usually... He he!) 

Examples:

Incorrect - There was a boy in my class that used to pick his nose. 

Correct - There was a boy in my class who used to pick his nose. 

Incorrect - Philip was my old friend that stole my bike. 

Correct - Philip was my old friend who stole my bike. 
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AN EDIT TIP A DAY, KEEPS REJECTIONS AT BAY!

18/1/2018

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TIME IS YOUR BEST WEAPON
WHEN IT COMES TO REVISIONS! 


Yep, we can't stress this enough. Whether you are an edit-as-you-go author or you like to battle revisions after the completion of each new draft, the most important piece of advice any editor, author, or agent will give you is:

PUT SOME DISTANCE AND TIME
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MANUSCRIPT
AFTER EACH REVISION. 

Every writer becomes blinded to plot holes and weaknesses in their work because they're simply too close to the story to see the problem. They know their story inside out; it's in their brains and hearts. But a reader doesn't. They rely on the words to tell them everything they need and what you want them to know. But when the writer puts their manuscript away for as long as possible (we suggest at least 3 weeks!) after completing a draft, details are forgotten, the words un-merge, eyes and thought processes are refreshed. 

It's great that you're excited to query or publish your book, but there is no need to rush. The industry and readers aren't going anywhere. They'll still be there when you're ready. So wow them with the best possible book you can write.

Good luck and happy writing! 
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